第65部分(第1/7 页)

They　are　like　serpents　trying　to　swallow　themselves　because　they

are　hungry。〃

Ursula　was　introduced　by　her　friend　to　various　women　and　men；

educated；　unsatisfied　people；　who　still　moved　within　the　smug

provincial　society　as　if　they　were　nearly　as　tame　as　their

outward　behaviour　showed；　but　who　were　inwardly　raging　and

mad。

It　was　a　strange　world　the　girl　was　swept　into；　like　a　chaos；

like　the　end　of　the　world。　She　was　too　young　to　understand　it

all。　Yet　the　inoculation　passed　into　her；　through　her　love　for

her　mistress。

The　examination　came；　and　then　school　was　over。　It　was　the

long　vacation。　Winifred　Inger　went　away　to　London。　Ursula　was

left　alone　in　Cossethay。　A　terrible；　outcast；　almost　poisonous

despair　possessed　her。　It　was　no　use　doing　anything；　or　being

anything。　She　had　no　connection　with　other　people。　Her　lot　was

isolated　and　deadly。　There　was　nothing　for　her　anywhere；　but

this　black　disintegration。　Yet；　within　all　the　great　attack　of

disintegration　upon　her；　she　remained　herself。　It　was　the

terrible　core　of　all　her　suffering；　that　she　was　always　herself。

Never　could　she　escape　that：　she　could　not　put　off　being

herself。

She　still　adhered　to　Winifred　Inger。　But　a　sort　of　nausea　was

ing　over　her。　She　loved　her　mistress。　But　a　heavy；　clogged

sense　of　deadness　began　to　gather　upon　her；　from　the　other

woman's　contact。　And　sometimes　she　thought　Winifred　was　ugly；

clayey。　Her　female　hips　seemed　big　and　earthy；　her　ankles　and

her　arms　were　too　thick。　She　wanted　some　fine　intensity；　instead

of　this　heavy　cleaving　of　moist　clay；　that　cleaves　because　it

has　no　life　of