第5部分(第1/7 页)

looked　at　his　mother；　seeing；　as　though　she　weresomeone　else；　the　dark；　hard　lines　running　downward　from　her　eyes；　and　the　deep；　perpetual　scowlin　her　forehead；　and　the　downturned；　tightened　mouth；　and　the　strong；　thin；　brown；　and　bonyhands；　and　the　phrase　turned　against　him　like　a　two…edged　sword；　for　was　it　not　he；　in　his　falsepride　and　his　evil　imagination；　who　was　filthy？　Through　a　storm　of　tears　that　did　not　reach　hiseyes；　he　stared　at　the　yellow　room；　and　the　room　shifted；　the　light　of　the　sun　darkened；　and　hismother’s　face　changed。　He　face　became　the　face　that　he　gave　her　in　his　dreams；　the　face　that　hadbeen　hers　in　a　photograph　he　had　seen　once；　long　ago；　a　photograph　taken　before　he　was　born。　Thisface　was　young　and　proud；　uplifted；　with　a　smile　that　made　the　wide　mouth　beautiful　and　glowedin　the　enormous　eyes。　It　was　the　face　of　a　girl　who　knew　that　no　evikl　could　undo　her；　and　whocould　laugh；　surely；　as　his　mother　did　not　laugh　now。　Between　the　two　faces　there　stretched　adarkness　and　a　mystery　that　John　feared；　and　that　sometimes　caused　him　to　hate　her。

Now　she　saw　him　and　she　asked；　breaking　off　her　conversation　with　Roy：　‘You　hungry；little　sleepyhead？’

‘Well！　About　time　you　was　getting　up；’　said　Sarah。

He　moved　to　the　table　and　sat　down；　feeling　the　most　bewildering　panic　of　his　life；　a　needto　touch　things；　the　table　and　chairs　and　the　walls　of　the　room；　to　make　certain　that　the　roomexisted　and　that　he　was　in　the　room。　He　did　not　look　at　his　mother；　who　stood　up　and　went　to　thestove　to　heat　his　breakfast。　But　he　asked；　in　order　to　say　something　to　her；　and　to　hear　his　ownvoice：

‘What　we　got　for　breakfast？’

He　realized；　with　some　shame；　that　he　was　hoping　she　had　prepared　a　special　breakfast　forhim　on　his　birthday。